The
Bleacher Creatures Vs. the Bleacher Bums—5/11/12
by
Fritz Peterson
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A few years ago I went to a Cubs game and chose to sit in the bleachers with “real people”. The seats that my friend and I chose happened to be where the “Bleacher Bums” sit. They are Chicago's counterpart to the Bleacher Creatures of Yankee Stadium. My buddy (Keith V.) and I had a great time watching fanatic Cub fans have a blast. Many of them were yuppies doubling as Bleacher Bums. Half of the Bums were on cell phones completing business deals and all sorts of things. It was a work day but their first priority was the game. Most mixed in a little business as well. Their third priority was drinking tons of beer. Keith and I tried keeping up with them for a while but they were younger and in better drinking condition than us.
During the experience we witnessed a couple of young ladies a few rows behind us pulling their tee shirts up to the delight of all of the Bleacher Bums who chanted, “do it again, do it again”. They did—until security got there and ended the free strip show. Everyone booed as the queens were escorted from the ballpark. Not knowing the routine in the bleachers, Keith and I ran out of beer. We didn't know it but vendors stopped selling beer after the 7th inning stretch. My party was over and I left the park to go home. What's a ballgame without beer! I always liked leaving games early anyway avoiding most of the traffic after the game. My friend stayed and found out how the Bums kept their “glow” going through the last couple of innings. It's called a “flask”. A few of the Bums shared their Jack Daniels with my buddy when he purchased a couple of diet cokes. The concession stands are still allowed to sell soft drinks and food to fans no matter how long the game goes, just not alcohol—the only thing that counts.
I got home (about an hour from Wrigley Field) and got a call from Keith—his car had been stolen! Actually what was stolen was Keith's memory. With all the Jack Daniels he consumed during the last two innings of the game he forgot where he had parked. He really did. He even called the Chicago Police Dept. to report the theft. The police never found the car, Keith did--the next day. In a dream he thought he remembered where he had parked down by Lake Michigan. A friend drove him down to the ballpark the next day and sure enough, it was there.
I always wanted to compare that experience with a similar one with the “Bleacher Creatures” in the Yankee Stadium bleachers. I finally got to do it on May 12th, on a Friday night, May 12, 2012. My night was arranged by a Bleacher Creature, Marc Chalpin, who I got to know during Yankee Fantasy Camp in November, 2011. We met at Bald Vinny's T-Shirt Stand at 5:30 pm where Marc gave me my ticket. I got 2 tickets from the Yankees for the two friends I came to the game with, John T. and Tony F.. John is my attorney and Tony is a postman and my illustrator for my books and things. We went into the stadium a half hour before the game started to witness something called “roll call”, something the Bleacher Bums don't do in Chicago. (One up for the Creatures). It was a blast! After the first pitch, the Creatures start yelling the names of all of the position players (except the catcher) one after the other. They start with the center fielder, then the left fielder, then the right fielder, and then into the infield. The right fielder, Nick Swisher is the best (whose dad I know—Steve). The Creature's shout each players name until he acknowledged their overtures. Most of the players let the roll callers know they've heard them by waiving their gloves. A few have their own signature responses. Swisher salutes, Curtis Granderson likes to emulate Fred Sanford having a heart attack and Brett Gardner has his own muscle flexing pose. The roll calling is unique in all of sports having been thought up by our very own Bleacher Creatures of Yankee Stadium! ESPN says the roll calling is one of the coolest things in sports. It is!
Marc Chalpin introduced me to many of the Creatures--from all walks of life. I told my friend Tony that I was determined to stay until the last out of the game, something I have never done since retiring from baseball in 1977. I usually like to get out early to avoid traffic, but not that night. I'm glad I didn't leave, there was a lot to do, and see after roll call that night.
I only had one beer in the stands that night. It's too expensive ($10.00 a beer) and you can only buy one at a time making it really inconvenient, and expensive to buy a buzz. If the cost were reasonable I'd normally try to have one an inning. I took the night off of “oiling” that night and am glad I did. I didn't want to miss an inning of the Creature experience. I met the “Cowbell Man” (Milton),who will soon become a grandfather at age 41, the “Stat Man” (who has kept a scorecard for every game he's ever attended for the last 30 years or more) and many of the other Creatures.
There was no business conducted with cell phones that night. “Business” is not a priority with the Creatures, unlike the Bleacher Bums. To the Creatures, baseball is first, followed closely by “oiling” (drinking). All you see in the Creature section are some fans using their Blackberries to find swear word translations to yell at outfielders who are not citizens of the States. On the 12th of May the derogatory comments and translated swear words in Japanese were aimed a Ichiro Suzuki, a frequent target over the years of the Creatures. Several comments turned his head. The reason the Creatures use translator on their Blackberries is that swearing in English is no longer tolerated by Yankee security personal. It's still best that children not sit in the Creature section!
At the beginning of the game there are quite a few seats available in the section where the Creatures sit. I found out why by the 5th inning. A good number of the creatures “tail gate” about three blocks from the stadium starting a couple of hours before the game and continuing well into the game. They “oil up” at the tail gate party before coming to the Stadium. They start rolling into park from the 3rd inning on saving a ton of money rather than spending $10.00 a beer at the concession stand. In the old days many could smuggle in alcohol but things have tightened up (security wise) at the Stadium. I personally think it is a travesty what they charge for beers at ballparks. Don't they make enough everywhere else? How about the Yankees getting rid of A Rod's 30 million dollar contract and selling beer at $5 a pop to the “real people”?
Mike Bonner of the Yankees knew I was going to be sitting with the Bleacher Creatures that night and sent his crew down to film me being out there with them in the 7th inning. It was fun saying hi to the fans on the big screen with the Creatures and my buddies surrounding me. It felt like one big family. It was actually two families; it was a little family, the Bleach Creatures inside the bigger Yankee family. When the game ended it turned out to be the most fun I've ever had at a ballpark other than the night I won my 20th game at Fenway Park in 1970. Thanks Marc, Mike Bonner, the Yankees, John T. and Tony F. for being part of such a great experience. Bleacher Bums who? The Bleacher Creatures win, hands down!
P.S
The Bleacher Creature's invited us to join them again sometime this
season. We accepted! This time the day will begin at the Bleacher
Creature tail gate party. If we don't make the game—oh well! Go
Yankees!
Fritz
Peterson
fritzpeterson19@gmail.com
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